25 Ways to Tell if She’s a Slut

25 Ways to Tell if She’s a Slut

The other night I met up with a girl I’d met on Tinder. The app for hooking up where girls pretend to be looking for substantial, long term relationships. Despite having a bare profile that revealed very little about her sexual appetites, I was relatively optimistic about getting laid that night. In my head, I’d somehow ascertained she had “slut face,” and was therefore more likely than others to put out.

When later that night, we arrived at my apartment, the probability of getting laid was almost certain. Unless of course she didn’t approve of my Geek Collectibles shelf.  Sometime during making out, she announced “I’m not having sex with you,”. That’s the phrase! 9 out of 10 times when a woman says this, they have already put considerable thought into ripping off both of your clothes. Thing is, when a woman brings up sex, they’re thinking about sex with you. First the shirt, then the pants come off, the only thing left to wear is a condom and the deal with the devil sealed once more.

The List

It’s like a directional guide to her very public recreational park.

1. Has tattoos.
This is especially the case if they’re visible, multiple, large, and elaborate. If they have sexual themes, you’re in like Flynn.

2. Piercings beyond the earlobe.
Sluttiness increases as you radiate from the lobe, to other parts of the ear, to the nose crumb, to the bull-ring. Other parts of the face—and erogenous zones—speak even louder.

Kiss here and magic happens

3. Has “slut face.”
You either recognize it or you don’t.

4. Cusses a lot.
Especially if she uses the words “fuck,” “pussy,” or “cock” outside of the bedroom.

5. Not ticklish.
Woman used to being handled by men are rarely ticklish. Sluts may have a physical response to light touching, but it’s rarely a tickled sensation.

6. Brings up use of illegal drugs.
The more illegal, the sluttier. This type of slut you may want to avoid.

7. Has big tits.
They probably came in early. She’s been receiving male attention for quite a while. She thrives on it and hates it.

8. Shows excessive skin for weather conditions.
Exposes the midriff, lower back, or ass-piece from the bottom of her daisy-dukes even when it’s not super-hot. They want the attention, they just won’t admit it.

Performance arts, Daisy Dukes, skin showing: super slut.

9. Has extra body hair (arms, sideburns, mustache) and/or a low speaking voice.
This is simple biology. More hair and low voice equals more testosterone. As healthy, non soy eating men know, testosterone. leads to aggressive and sex driven behavior.

10. Associates with confirmed sluts.
Her friends are often one of the best indicators. Peer pressure is bad for them, great for you.

When they flock like this, good/bad things are about to happen.

11. Shows interests in girls, has “hooked up” with girls, or claims to be “bi-sexual.”
Bi-sexuality has quickly become a stand-in for hyper-sexuality. This is your Unicorn. She’ll often bring girls for you to experience together.

12. Is currently, or was at some point, in a sorority.
Sororities are little more than pussy buffets for the campus fraternities.

13. Has traveled alone, or with only girls, to fuck-fest locations (e.g., Jamaica).
This one is tricky. They may feel that sex on vacation doesn’t count, but quickly close up shop once home and back to routine.

14. Was a cheerleader in high school.
Cheerleaders have access to, and exploit, the most desirable and horniest dudes at school.

15. Went, or goes, to a known party college (Arizona State, USC, UC Santa Barbara).
Girls are copycats, and when all of her friends “are doing it” (whatever “it” is), they do too. (See No. 10.)

16. Lost her virginity on the younger side (15 and under).
The earlier they start, the longer they ride. Their body is addicted to sex as it happened during development age.

17. Likes tequila shots or party drugs (e.g., Extasy/MDMA).
These are the drugs of choice for the promiscuous.

Girls thrive to be on camera.

18. Is “friends” with DJs, promoters, or other small-time pseudo-celebs. This is a world in which the gears are lubricated with pussy—even more directly than others.

19. Is an artist, or a wannabe “model” who has done “photo shoots.” Girls in the arts tend to have a loose attitude toward sex, especially if their “art” involves “expressing themselves” with their body.

20. Broaches the topic of sex first.
This may seem like a no-brainer, but they often do so in subtle ways that can seem plausibly deniable. They never are. Statements like “take me to your place, but no sex” are key indicators.

21. Has a bad relationship with her father and/or has divorced parents.
“Daddy issues” are classic, but accurate predictors of her relationship to men and sex.

22. Describes herself as a feminist or with any of its jargon (“pansexual,” “demi-sexual,” “cis-gendered”).
You may not be able to stand a feminist long enough to bang her, but in trying to prove she can do everything a man can do, she likely fucks with impunity.

They’re ALL asking/begging for it.

23. Has an even, nice tan that she maintains.
Girls with even, perfect tans spend a lot of time semi-naked, often in semi-public.

24. Hair dyed a nontraditional color, blue, pink…
Like piercings and tattoos, dyed hair telegraphs “rebellion” to social norms. That almost always translates into sluttiness.

25. Uses Tinder.
Yes, Tinder. It’s a sex shopping app designed for horny woman. Because guys, admit it, you swipe right for almost every profile unless she’s fat or downright ugly.

How you use this information is up to you, whether you use this knowledge to get laid or to avoid marrying the town recreational center. Woman are complex, highly sexual creatures stuck in a world of their own sexuality and societal perceptions on how they’re supposed to be.