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Men and War AKA Who’s is Bigger

From The Chaos Rift Archives:

Men and War

All through history, men have wanted bigger missiles. At first they used arrows but they were too long and skinny. Then later on in they created bullets, but those were too short and stubby. The Americans then invented rockets and missiles. The Russians saw that the Americans had bigger missiles with longer range. This made the Russians jealous so thus the cold war (War of Who’s is Bigger) started. Thus we have Men and war. 

So the Americans raced to make bigger missiles with longer range. Then the general public stepped in and asked why the government had to have lots of really big missiles if they could not use them. They wanted smaller missiles that were faster and could be used more. So the Americans and Russians started destroying their biggest missiles and made smaller ones. Thus, ending the cold war.

Then other countries stepped in. They were jealous that the American missiles were the envy of the world. China was embarrassed about their rather small and short range missiles. Sadam Hussain was the most jealous because his country had the smallest missiles of them all, and they mostly missed their targets and flew shorter than expectation. He tried to invade Kuwait to get more oil so he could make bigger missiles, but the Americans didn’t like the idea of another country having bigger missiles with longer range. This started the first Gulf War.

After the war America told Hussain he couldn’t have any missiles which made him quite upset and defiant. So he set out on the black market to make the biggest missile with the longest range. After a while though he had to kick out the inspectors because they kept staring at his missiles and this made Sadam very embarassed and ashamed. Eventually Sadam’s missiles never lived up to his bragging and boasting. It was too small and didn’t have much kick. So he hid in a hole and eventually hung for being so small. 

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Chaos Mistress is the mainstay writer and editor of The Chaosrift. Avid outdoor and athletics. Passionate about politics, video games and life.

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